turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
