You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
wakey wakey hands off snakey
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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