I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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