Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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