so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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