I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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