NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
