I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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