I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
