ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
