That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
