none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize