I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
