How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize