Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize