ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize