So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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