A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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