Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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