Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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