when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
