There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
either way he was missing a nipple.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Drunk is a universal language darling
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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