69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
