Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize