if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My pussy is not your playground.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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