After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
