This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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