addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
