we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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