She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
