If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
