dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
