Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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