i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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