How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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