shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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