it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
