just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
