Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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