super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
