hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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