Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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