Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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