remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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