Three words: puerto rican gang bang
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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