Soap is not a condiment
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
