Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
