its not stalking. its research.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
