Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Randomize
