some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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