my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
