You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
