If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
