i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
