my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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