His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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