i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
