I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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