sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i already hear my dad disowning me
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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