He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
