hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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