4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
