HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
