week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
