belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize