SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
